I got these jokes off the website called The House of Slytherin—
http://www.clairesdotcom.com/harrypotter/hpjoke.htm
If anyone knows any more Harry Potter jokes, tell me about them!!
Q. Where's the best place to drink polyjuice potion?
A. In the Changing room.
Q. What's large and hairy with a single fang?
A. Hargid
Q.What does Harry like on his chips?
A. HP Sauce
Q. Which ghost works on the Hogwarts Express?
A. The ticket in-spectre
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Harry
Harry who?
Harry up and let us in
A Potions Professor called Snape
Was reluctant to use Sellotape
He once got entraped
In a present he wrapped
And taken ten hours to escape
Q. What's packed with flowers and full of danger?
A. The Forbidden Florists
Ron: I've just eaten 20 chocolate frogs
Harry: How do you feel?
Ron: Extremely hoppy
Q. What do wizards use to improve the weather?
A. Sunny Spells
Q. What's huge, leafy and rather pathetic?
A. The whimpering willow
Q. What do you call Professor McGonagall trapped between two layers of bread?
A. A sand-witch
Q. Why wasn't Voldermort at the Yule ball?
A. He had no body to go with.
There once was a Slytherin beater
Who was truly the most dreadful cheater
If another teams chaserCould clearly outpace her
She'd change into a dragon, and eat her.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ron
Ron who?
Ron for your life, it's you know who
Q. What do you call a wizard that is a hit with the ladies?
A. A smooth apparator
Q. What has fourteen legs and can't fly for toffee?
A. The Hufflepuff Quidditch Team
Q. Where do you find Dumbledore's Army?
A. Up his sleevey
Q. Why does Dobby keep criticizing himself?
A. He has low Elf-estem
Q. Which broomstick is the absolute pits?
A. The direbolt
Q. What lies on the floor of Voldemort's barber's?
A. The Hair of Slytherin
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Youno
Youno who?
Got it in one
A herbology teacher called Sprout
Had to ask all her students to shout
As over the years
She'd got soil in her ears
And now couldn't get it back out
There once was a Chaser called Randall
Whose temper caused many a scandal
He would loop, swoop and zoom
On his super cool broom
Then lose it and fly off the handle
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sirius
Sirius who?
Sirius-ly open the door
Q. Which side of Fluffy the three headed dog is it best to stay on?
A. The outside
Harry: Hedwig's lost her voice
Hermione: Oh dear, is she terribly upset?
Harry: No, she doesn't give a hoot.
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